I had always ranked myself as one of the most respected people in the neighbourhood. I had never thought of it as a bad thing since everyone loved to be praised or let me say get all the attention. Was I to blame?
A good reputation was all that everyone wanted and I had to do everything to earn it. I had to polish my character and design it like the clouds where everyone desired to reach. An atmosphere of competition was already felt amongst us. Jealousy started creeping in and I detected some apprehension, a subtle rivalry of some sort between me and my friends who seemed to have ganged against me.
I did not care since I was already blinded by the desire of being the best. A feeling of anguish was great that it threatened to engulf me. I had to achieve what I wanted and nothing was going to stop me.
My competitive nature had overshadowed my other qualities. Before I realised it, I was already a hostage of a new behaviour that cared about nothing a part from itself. I only concentrated on what made me the best ahead of all my friends never to realise that I was only pushing them away. Actually I was only one step closer to being two steps far from them. Was I the problem?
I had been enslaved to my new character. How was I to overcome it? I thought I was being the best of me never to realise that I was only degrading myself into a monster . I was in a grip of an obsession which was too powerfull for me to resist .
All this time I knew I was respected but when I thought of it, it was more of fear than respect. I was in a greater turmoil. I tried to free myself from the situation but I was chained never to be let loose. How was I to escape the predicament?That I didn’t know.
I had no clue of what to do. Those who were to help me were all gone. Anytime I tried making new friends the outcome was inverse to what I expected. I was treated like a deadly disease which wiped out any creature that crossed it’s path. No one could stand my new behaviour. No one was willing to help me. What was I to do?